If anybody is paying attention - - - - I have always wanted to write.  Heinlein said that if you feel the need to write then do it in the dark and wash your hands thoroughly afterward.  I'll try to follow his admonitions.  I don't know if I have anything worthwhile to say but the words keep flowing.  So here's where they will go.

Conversations with My Dogs

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one when my daughter called and asked if I’d like to have a yellow Lab puppy.  Thinking of other puppies I’d had raised, most of them lab mixes, I said sure, bring him on.  A Lab puppy – that’ll be great to have around the yard.   She showed up a couple of days later with  the puppy.  He was hanging over both sides of the back seat of her police cruiser Crown Vic.  A hundred pound puppy.  Name?  Don’t go there – I  called him Butters.  Butters and I got along great – even though he was crazy and needed attention and affection ALL the time.  He’d been bred to be a show dog, but his head wasn’t shaped right inside or out.  Remember Marley ?  Yeah, thought so. Butters can give Marley lessons. 

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one a few months later when this giant dog dragging a tree limb showed up and parked at my feet.  The tree limb was attached to a log chain which was attached with tie-wraps.  Hmm.  Great Pyrenees looks like – sores all over his body – malnourished – must have escaped from somewhere.  Let’s doctor him a little, give him a bath and see if we can find the owners.  Cut off the chain.   Bath?  Oh no.  Water isn’t going to happen.  Seemed to like the antibiotics..  Put up a sign….people called, said, Oh you’ve found our dog.  Nah, we never named him, just used him to make more puppies….. Sorry to be a bother. 

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one.  Two days later this giant dog comes back  carrying a 6 foot steel post  parks at my feet.  This dog looks familiar.  Hey, is this the same dog (stupid question).  Something familiar.  Post was tied to a log chain which was tied around his neck with tie-wraps.  Cut off the tie wraps, doctor the sores, give him the anti-biotics, try to give him a bath, call the owners, who come back and get him – Well, we just can’t keep a collar on him, we’ve been doctoring him with cattle wormer (??????) and he swims in the stock tank and we don’t know what we’re going to do and … and….and…..

Look lady – if he comes back again – don’t bother to come get him. 

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one tonight when Dreyfuss comes up, cold noses me and says –

 “Hey – time for supper.  And you need to feed my son over there too.  Have you noticed he’s almost as big as me?  I could have had more if you hadn’t had the doc snip me – dammit – that next door lady was really sweet…….easy too…. – shut up Butters, he’s paying attention to me now….”

Anybody want to help with the dog food bill?