Conversations with My Dogs

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one when my daughter called and asked if I’d like to have a yellow Lab puppy.  Thinking of other puppies I’d had raised, most of them lab mixes, I said sure, bring him on.  A Lab puppy – that’ll be great to have around the yard.   She showed up a couple of days later with  the puppy.  He was hanging over both sides of the back seat of her police cruiser Crown Vic.  A hundred pound puppy.  Name?  Don’t go there – I  called him Butters.  Butters and I got along great – even though he was crazy and needed attention and affection ALL the time.  He’d been bred to be a show dog, but his head wasn’t shaped right inside or out.  Remember Marley ?  Yeah, thought so. Butters can give Marley lessons. 

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one a few months later when this giant dog dragging a tree limb showed up and parked at my feet.  The tree limb was attached to a log chain which was attached with tie-wraps.  Hmm.  Great Pyrenees looks like – sores all over his body – malnourished – must have escaped from somewhere.  Let’s doctor him a little, give him a bath and see if we can find the owners.  Cut off the chain.   Bath?  Oh no.  Water isn’t going to happen.  Seemed to like the antibiotics..  Put up a sign….people called, said, Oh you’ve found our dog.  Nah, we never named him, just used him to make more puppies….. Sorry to be a bother. 

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one.  Two days later this giant dog comes back  carrying a 6 foot steel post  parks at my feet.  This dog looks familiar.  Hey, is this the same dog (stupid question).  Something familiar.  Post was tied to a log chain which was tied around his neck with tie-wraps.  Cut off the tie wraps, doctor the sores, give him the anti-biotics, try to give him a bath, call the owners, who come back and get him – Well, we just can’t keep a collar on him, we’ve been doctoring him with cattle wormer (??????) and he swims in the stock tank and we don’t know what we’re going to do and … and….and…..

Look lady – if he comes back again – don’t bother to come get him. 

So there I was sitting on the back porch with a cold one tonight when Dreyfuss comes up, cold noses me and says –

 “Hey – time for supper.  And you need to feed my son over there too.  Have you noticed he’s almost as big as me?  I could have had more if you hadn’t had the doc snip me – dammit – that next door lady was really sweet…….easy too…. – shut up Butters, he’s paying attention to me now….”

Anybody want to help with the dog food bill?